I'm working to redefine my understanding of "a good day".
I'm accustomed to thinking that a good day is an easy day. A conflict-free day. A day without stress or heavy decision-making or tears (mine or others'). A day with happy people, happy events, and a happy feeling inside of me. A day when I "feel blessed".
Oh, there's nothing wrong with these kind of days. They are good days, indeed. But I've been realizing that there are a lot of other kinds of "good days" - a lot of which don't look and feel so obviously GOOD. I don't want to defer to a blind "Pollyanna" outlook on life - I know well the reality of days that pierce your heart and mind, of days that seem to drain the very life out of you. But I also know that in the midst of those FEELINGS, I often miss the very real "goodness" that's happening. For instance...
Kids quarrel and fight when they're learning how to relate to others and how to assert themselves. While the fighting is tiresome to all, my kids are learning how NOT to be doormats. They're learning to eliminate some unhealthy ways of relating to others. So when we walk through this together, it's a good day.
Teenagers want to go out with their friends and while the decision-making and boundary-setting is taxing to the parents, my kids are taking steps toward being independent of us, as we want them to be one day. They're learning why we have boundaries and how to set them. Baby steps toward healthy independence make a good day (even if three of those steps are forward and two are back!).
People in all kinds of settings from marriage to work to extended families have misunderstandings and differing opinions that lead to difficult conversations. But when those conversations occur, though stretching and even painful, we're gaining knowledge of another. We're learning the value of OUR experiences and opinions, as well as the value of THEIRS. Knowing myself and knowing another, and extending grace to both, is part of a good day.
All of these, and more, are truly GOOD days. They may be hard days, but they're good. They're good as we stretch and are stretched, as we mold and are molded, more and more into the image of our Creator. People grow; people change. People learn and develop - more often than not by trial and error. What makes me think that this process will be "happy", linear, and effortless?! The process is none of the aforementioned, at least not all the time, but it is still good.
Have a GOOD day.
3 comments:
i agree.
good days don't always seem good at the time.
it was a good-for-a-person day.
i'd say.
~~cami
oh how i needed to read this today, meg! saturday night/sunday morning was davey's worst by far. and yesterday didn't get much better. but i realized that in those awful hours early sunday morning, i learned something new about myself and about parenting. and i learned a little bit about where is my wall. my end point. my "i'm finished" moment. and we are now adjusting accordingly. so while i still won't admit that was a "good" night, good did come of it. and hopefully, in the long run, i will learn that it was a necessary evening. love you, meg! - tam
What a great article. I know so many that would love to read this. I think you said it was okay to pass it on... and I have one friend in particular that would appreciate it, I think I'll send them the link now.
Thank you for sharing your gift of writing. Love you! carrilee
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