Forty

Two hours and nine minutes ago, I turned 40.

I feel like I should be waxing philosophical
and reflecting on life...

But IT'S MY BIRTHDAY.

I just finished my "employed-outside-the-home"
work for the week,
my house is relatively clean,
I have some new books from Barnes and Noble,
and I reallly have no desire to be sitting in front of the computer.

I will tell you about being forty...later.
Seriously...
there's partying to do! :)

Fourteen

Four days and one hour ago, my second-born turned 14.

Sean
My quiet one
with the dry sense of humor.
The one whose eyes sparkled as a 5-year-old kindergartener when the teacher would tell jokes that flew high over the other kids' heads.

Sean
the inventor, player and collector of games.
The reader of manuals.
The home-body.
The content one.
The lover of all things historical and geographical.

Sean
The master of wordplay.
My least verbal one, who, ironically, has contributed the most to the family vocabulary.
"Circle try" = motorcycle
"Magic Chowder" = powdered sugar
Et al.
A typical Sean exchange a number of years ago:
Mom "Wow. That was a huge bird. I wonder if it was an eagle or a hawk."
Sean "It was a hawk. I didn't see it, but it was a hawk."

Sean
My sleep talker.
Camping trips are always interesting, when we all sleep in close proximity to one another. Invariably a classic Sean-sleep-talking line emerges such as:
"I COLLECT COWS!!!!"

Sean
The one little kids LOVE.
It's a gift, most surely.
I continually marvel when this boy is around little kids;
he's literally a KID MAGNET.
They climb on him, hug him, want him when they're hurt.
He makes them giggle like nobody's business.
The little ones know he's one cool kid.

Sean
The musician.
The guitar was your salvation in 7th grade (thank you Mr. Smit),
and now I can't believe the sounds that emanate from your room
as your fingers fly across the strings.

Sean
The complex and quietly amazing one.
Not many people get to see how tender is your heart
and how much you despise injustice in the world.
Your creativity is not easily quantifiable, but it is THERE.
I think you're a closet Renaissance Man
and it will take a long time for the world to see and appreciate your special brand of sweet ingenuity.

You're the hardest of our three kids to characterize,
because of your many subtleties.
And therein lies the beauty of Sean:
We get to keep discovering more and more of you.

Happy 14th Seany J.
You are loved.

By the Numbers

One
sick boy.

Six
days of fever.

Zero
hours spent at school (Sean).
hours spent in the office (Meg).

Ten
choices of beverages in the fridge
in hopes of keeping the sick boy hydrated.

Three
hours of History Channel viewing (average daily).

Six
DVD episodes of "Everest:Beyond the Limit" (four consecutively).

Too numerous to count
segments of "Spongebob Squarepants".

One-tenth (approximately)
the usual nearly-fourteen-year-old appetite.

Twenty or less
miles put on my car this week.

Hundreds
of precious minutes alone with my boy
bringing drinks,
monitoring temps,
editorializing on TV shows,
exchanging expressions of care disguised as sarcasm,
and taking care of my almost-high schooler
who doesn't require mom's services
for much of anything anymore.

One
morning without a fever.

One
recovering boy.

and

One
slightly cabin-fevered,
weary,
but happy
mom.

Just One

I wish I could start AND finish a project at my house.
Just one.
I don't even care WHICH one;
Any of the many will do.

I'm a great starter and a lousy finisher.
"Highly distractible" perhaps.
Can you spell A.D.D.?

Maybe putting this JUST ONE desire in writing
will be the motivation I need.

I'll keep you posted. :)

You Win Some, You Lose Some

I really like March Madness.
I actually got to watch a number of games and most of the Final Four this year.
I was rooting for Memphis; don't know why, I just was.

Tonight's championship was a great game, overtime and everything.
Both teams performed admirably.
Memphis blew a moderate lead.
Kansas hit the do-or-die shots.

You win some, you lose some.

Memphis didn't manage the clock well.
Memphis didn't make their free throws.
Memphis' big guy fouled out.
Memphis lost the game.

I know how you feel, Memphis.
A lot of days, I don't manage the clock well either.
I don't hit the clutch "shots" when the pressure's on.
I even take myself out of the game for making too many mistakes sometimes.
Some days I feel like I've lost "the game" for my team -
whether that team is my family, my friends, my work colleagues, or even the Lord.

But the reality is that
You win some, you lose some.
I'm not going to be as "on" everyday as I'd like to be.
The high expectations I have of myself may not reflect
the Lord's expectations of me.
My idea of "winning" may not be winning at all, the way He sees it.
And my perceived "losses" may not be losses at all in the Lord's eyes.
A few failures, even those connected into a chain of negative events,
doesn't diminish what HAS been done
and what is YET TO BE.
My perception of what IS must be submitted to the One who alone sees the divine "final score" of each day.
The win is Christ living in me;
an invitation for Him to reign in me;
to work for, in, over, around, before, behind, and through me.

Chin up, Memphis;
It was a fantastic ride,
and who knows -
maybe the best is yet to come.

To any of my friends who feel like they've been losing more than they've been winning lately -
Press on.
I know first-hand that we don't have to be defined by
past failures,
weaknesses,
or brokenness of any kind.
Tomorrow, I still may not win,
but I can be a better competitor.
I CANNOT lose the most important thing -
the loving salvation of my Lord Jesus Christ.

Chin up, friend.